Stories That Coach!

HONORING MICHAEL IN A SONG

2012-01-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

TheLord decided to suddenly take away Michael Theseira, a close friend andrelative a day before the eve of Chinese New Year.

It was like an ordinary day when he left us. He had woken up in the wee hoursof the morning with some discomfort, and got his loving wife, Pauline, toattend to him. And when he was feeling better, he decided to rest for a while.It was then just before the break of dawn that he made a most gentle transitionfrom this earthly place to a more heavenly one.

It was very sad and a shock, like all news of sudden death. Michael’s passingwas special and, to a great extent, even strange. It recalled to my mind, asong entitled ‘Abraham, Martin & John’. This is a very beautiful songdedicated to 3 great people - Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King and JohnKennedy. When I was young, it caught my attention and it must have remained inme except that I didn’t play it on my guitar or hum the tune anymore. AtMichael’s passing, however, the song became alive again in me. It has thesetouching words:

Has anybody seen , my good friend …….
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He frees a lot of people
But it seems the good they die young
I just turn around, and he’s gone.

This song suddenly became even more special. It was telling me that Michaelshould also join the ranks of the greats of Abraham, Martin, and John. He wasspecial too. He was young too like them. – only 58 yearsold!

Indeed his deeds will always be remembered as he touched so many people. Iremember Michael for his unfailing compassion and duty to the bereaved byattending close or distant relatives' funerals. To those who celebrated theirjoys on their birthdays and weddings, he would be there too. He was there togive comfort and company to those who were sick and if he couldn’t make it, hislast option was at least a phone call.

In his immediate family, he was the unifying person who brought all memberstogether. He would travel from KL to Melaka to see his aged dad every 2 weekswithout fail. No wonder the unity and love he brought about was admired andenvied by many including me.

He is someone I can talk about, quote or use as examples to people who wantgreater fulfillment in their lives. For coaches, Michael is a good role modeltoo.

May he rest in peace. I'm sure we will meet again.

Good bye for now.

AN "ACCIDENTAL" AUTHOR

2012-01-23T15:31:00.000+08:00

When I launched my second coaching book entitled “Dialogue with the Life Coach” at the 6th CCA-MACC Graduation, Awards & Networking Nite on 29 Oct 2011, the feeling was different from the launch of my first book,"Dialogue with the Coach". This one was so different! It had all the grandiose ambience unlike the launch of my first book which was a quiet and subdued affair.

First and foremost, it was launched in front of a large crowd; specifically my coaches and their families and friends. Secondly, my family members were there too. And thirdly, having Datuk Bridget Menezes, a renowned and highly respected Self Empowerment Guru and a precious friend, to launch it really made the whole thing so complete.

A strange and eerie feeling went through me during this launch. It said to me, ‘Look here, you are really an author now’! Indeed, it was a sort of confirmation of this fact. Why? Because the publication of this second book confirmed it! Deep within me I would never saw or call myself an author until I had met my own benchmark of two books. Somewhat I needed this assurance as I had never ever dreamt nor planned that I could be one!

That’s the paradox of my life. The occasion taught me that sometimes we have to leave our fate in God’s hands. We may not need plans to succeed, but we need faith. Faith gives us positive energy and this attracts good things to happen into our lives.

Becoming an author is a classic example of this. While I never thought I could be one, I had always envied people who are authors. That somehow gave me a dream, but not a plan yet.

With the passage of time, however, things just fell in place one by one. I left my job, got into coaching, took up writing as a way to contribute to society, and also to promote my business. I was glad I had and still have good friends in the media who supported me. One thing led to another. People like what I wrote. They responded to my writing. They asked for advice. Thus, I had so many of these cases, and so I compiled them into one book, and then the second book was out, with the third book on the way, latest by next year. I love writing a lot now because it is bearing a lot of fruits. People not only read my articles, but they actually kept them. Cool!

This is only one feather in my cap. The other is my regular blog "Stories That Coach" when I embarked on being a blogger for two years now

With all these good things happening, I now have a solid plan and I will continue until I hang up my Blackberry or other writing tools. Life now has a bigger meaning, and it is not about me; it is also about everyone whom I can touch in their hearts, minds and spirit.

What is it that has positively happened to you, not by design but by God’s hidden hands?

A SPECIAL 60TH BIRTHDAY JOURNEY

2012-01-15T17:07:00.004+08:00

A 60th birthday is usually celebrated in style because it is special to many. Somehow,the number ‘60’ signifies a very important milestone in one’s life. To some, itis the passing mark into old age. To another, it is crossingthe danger zone of not 'leaving this world' too young. And yet to others(which I want to associate with), it is ‘Congratulations, buddy, you have madeit there!’

So my 60th birthday celebration was really special. No, it was not likethe usual traditional birthday bash with many friends, enjoying sumptuous mealsand drinks, receiving presents, cutting the birthday cake and getting lots ofwell wishes through e-cards, text messages, phone calls, etc.

Mine was much more and longer than that. It was a most cherished 3 week journeythat kicked off with Christmas, then the New Year, and finallyright into the day itself of 11th January, finishing off at Melbourne Airportfor home in KL. The most wonderful of it was spending a 24/7 with 4 specialpeople in my life: my wife, Angeline, my 2 sons, Joo and Jin, and mymother-in-law, Dulcie. The place was exotic too; it was in Melbourne where Joostays and works.

What made this profoundly special was : it was simply doing things together as afamily. Quiet and golden moments, sharing laughter and private tales, poking fun at each other,eating and drinking, exercising, enjoying the moody hot and cool weatherin Melbourne, and very importantly, praying together as well.

I deliberately chose to celebrate it this way because I am usually the culpritwho forgets to ‘smell the flowers’ along the journey. For a long time, gettingthe goal had often been more important than the journey. As I start on my 60thbirthday journey, I want to be reminded of the adage that ‘the journey is justas important (if not more important) as the destination’.

We all need some ‘signposts’ to remind us of doing (or not doing) certainthings. Mine is my 60th birthday.

This 3 week birthday journey was a kaleidoscope of activities that embodiedeverything about a healthy life balance in symphony with all its integratedparts.

My resolution for 2012 will be anchored on : enjoying life’s journey, stayingsteadfast on my goals, while finding and spending quality time with veryimportant and special people in my life.

What will you be doing to ‘smell the flowers’ in the journey of yourlife?

FAREWELL TO DR JUN TOH, A TRUE COACH FRIEND

2011-12-31T15:26:00.000+08:00

With Jun at one of the coach learning workshop

Suddenly everything in my life just stopped for a moment upon hearing the shocking news that my dear friend and fellowcoach from our Coach Academy had passedaway on 29th Dec 2011.

The coach community really lost one of its bastions of someone who reallyepitomize what a coach is and should be.

I am putting aside my traditional message at the end of theyear to write a blog on Jun who deservesthis attention more than anythingelse. She is someone I will alwaysadmire, respect and adore as a person of immaculate character.

Although highly intelligent and verysuccessful in her chosen consultancy work, she remained humble, positive,caring and a keen learner who was always in search of knowledge to be betterand better as a coach and person.

Becoming a coach was something very compelling in her. Iknew that all along but never knew it was so much more until I heard that evenin extreme pain she went through the final examination so that she got throughthe last hurdle to be a certified coach. She didn’t want any pity and she wanted a level playing field eventhough she was “handicapped”.

Although she took about 2 years to complete her coachcertification, many would have given up a long time ago if they were in hercondition - fighting cancer, studying and taking on more than a full time jobin Indonesia. Her strength anddetermination were really extraordinary. If this was all about mental strength,then she was really a champion who deserved a gold medal.

My biggest regret was that she couldn’t make it for the graduation in October this year. If she had, that would have been her biggest reward.
The coach community will always remember her for her contribution to the e-coach community called Coach Loop that she helped to set up. This is her legacy to us.

Farewell, Dr Jun.. You have fought a good fight.
Rest in peace.

We know that God will reward her. She died fighting strong. Today, on 31^st December 2011, is her funeral, where we bade her goodbye. She ended an era, and begin an eternal one in heaven.

Good bye, Jun. Till we meet again, may you be in eternal rest in the arms of God always.

What memories or pictures do you have of Dr Jun that youwould like to share with blog readers? You can post a comment to this blog orsend them to contact@malaysiancoaches.com

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY 2011 A MOST FULFILING ONE!

2011-12-19T11:42:00.004+08:00

I actuallyplanned for 2011 to happen in the way I wanted. About 75% of them came true. Tome, destiny is not about things happening by chance, but when I want it tohappen the way it is to be. Of course, it did not fall so well in place like ajigsaw puzzle, but I must say that the overall plan came quite closely to whatI had wanted to happen.

Relaxing at MACC Coach Camp 2011

Of course,I have so many people to thank for. Topof the list is God. His hidden hands have guided me on the right path throughthis year. I know without Him nothing would have worked for me. I want to thankHim for this, good health to carry on, and my family's support all the way.

I must not alsoforget all of you out there. You allhave been my great support and inspiration. Without you too, my plans wouldnever have worked out. You could identify with my dreams, so I was not alone.But most of all, you gave me your support and help, so I didn’t have to carrythem all on my shoulders.

Riding into the future on my trustworthy bike all charged up

Because ofyou, you have helped me reached the self actualization level of my life. Certainly,I am a much fulfilled person in many ways now. Growing older in age is not thatbad after all. I can see the light much clearer than in my earlier years. I know I am a late bloomer in life. Most importantly, many good things havestarted to happen in bigger and bigger ways.

I mustconfess that in my earlier years, I used to fear that I could not do much aboutmy life. But all this is history. I am so charged up. I wish I have more yearsto do what I want to do. I know you will all be behind me.

Thank youto you all. May you have a blessed yearin 2012 and beyond!

LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY

2011-11-27T20:02:00.003+08:00

I get pretty excited over every Graduation, Awards & Networking Event that is being held every year. To the coach-graduates, it is usually a proud occasion to celebrate their success of becoming true blue coaches. To coaches, it is a time to catch up with others. To the guests, it is their show of support for the occasion.

To me, I share all these feelings with all of them. I need not be in their shoes to feel what it was like. However, there is a little voice inside me telling me that in every of such occasion, there is a deep personal satisfaction of seeing the ‘fruits of my labor’ leaving behind a legacy in coaching in this part of the world.

There are so many obvious tell tale signs that this is fast taking shape. The coach community has indeed grown many times. The proud faces of the graduates tell me that embarking on getting certified as professional coaches has been a good choice that they have made in their lives. The happy faces of their loved ones tell me that they too endorse the decisions. And the smiling and confident faces of the coaches also further convinced that what I had sowed 10 years ago is fast bearing fruits.

I know deep in me that there is no stopping now. In fact it is just the beginning. The coach community is beginning to grow at a faster rate now than ever before. There is much to do. Retirement is out for me at least for the next 10 years. I pray that God agrees with my timeline, before the baton is passed on to my successor.

I am excited more than ever. My last 10 years have convinced me what it means to be purposeful in life. With a purpose, we automatically are made to stay focused on the goal no matter how difficult it is. I am glad that I found this purpose to do good work in Coaching after floating in the wilderness for many of my adult years.

Yes, I got a job, in fact, a very good one, but it wasn’t enough to give me a purposeful life. Sometimes we just got to get out or be made to get out of our comfort zone, to be there in the unknown for a while for deep realization to take place. This happened exactly to me. I took the bold decision to take better charge of my life. The rest, as they say, is history.

My work in coaching is moving forward at an even faster rate, boosted by my success and what I can still do. With this unshakeable self belief, I know next year is going to be an even more exciting and rewarding year, in the Coaching field.

Have you found your purpose yet? What is stopping you? What must happen for you to find this?

AUNTY LIEW, THE PURPOSEFUL HAIRDRESSER TO THE END

2011-10-30T20:56:00.015+08:00

Aunty Liew was still a hairdresser until she caught her last breath at the age of 83! I found out about her passing when my wife called her to make an appointment for my next haircut!

What’s so special about Aunty Liew that I should write a blog about her?
For one, it was her determination to continue with what she had been passionate about her career as a hairdresser of 63 years. In one of my haircut conversations with her, I asked her why she was still on the job.

To this she replied simply and humbly, “I don’t want to resign myself to sitting in a chair when I could still make people happy with I could do for them." It wasn't the RM6 she could earn from me and the rest. I am sure it was nothing for her. If there was something more, it was definitely the time she spent making herself purposeful and useful.

Being a simple person with a simple lifestyle and life philosophy, I could identify myself with her. That explained why there was easy acceptance of one another. Right from the start, I wanted her to be my full time hairdresser. Unfortunately, it wasn't for long before I 'lose' this deal.

The other thing I admired about Aunty Liew was her attitude towards customer service. She gave more than a “5-star” service to her clients. It was hairdressing at your doorstep: driving her manual Proton Saga to customers’ homes and even cleaning up the “hairy mess” after each haircut !

She was definitely my role model who had few or no self limiting beliefs. While many would use an advanced age as limiting, there was none in her. Positive, exuberant, jovial , courageous, and active.
I will miss you, Aunty Liew, not because it was great savings for me, but more of listening and learning from you. Seldom one gets into 'the zone' when getting a haircut; I must confess I get into it every time.

One thing for sure I will share your greatness with my clients and students. I'm sure many will be inspired by your life. This is definitely one great way to remember you always.May you rest in peace.

See you when my time comes. Till then......

25 YEARS OF TOGETHERNESS AND STILL GROWING STRONGER

2011-10-19T15:43:00.012+08:00

25 years ago on 18th October 1986, Angeline and I were married. 25 years later on 18th October 2011, we remembered it and celebrated our Silver Wedding Anniversary over a long stretch of 5 days, not only as a couple but with our 2 lovely children, Kian Joo and Kian Jin. It was certainly very complete because Kian Joo made it possible by taking the trouble to come back all the way from Melbourne!

In these 5 days, we holidayed and spent time together in my old town, Teluk Intan, and then ascended to the cool hills of Camerons Highlands for a lovely and romantic stay at its best hotel there at the Camerons Highlands Resort, culminating in a candlelight family dinner at the rustic Old Smokehouse on the night of the 18th October, for just the 4 of us.

I want to share this privacy of our family life with you all because I wish to reiterate the great importance of a family together. It is really the ultimate goal (and reward) that every one of us should aim for. Remember, it is the family for whatever that happens (in good and in not –so-good times) that we can go back to. With them, we can really share our joys and sorrows. Ultimately, it is the family that gives us the reason for meaningful living. The family is the ‘tipping point’ to life balance.

Especially for a person like me where life has becoming increasingly hectic, the family is the one that gives me the ‘sanity’, the richness and the true meaning of life. I don’t think I can perform at this level as a coach if I didn’t have them behind me.

I want to specially dedicate this blog to thank my dear wife Angeline. I owe it to her for taking up this huge responsibility of not only keeping all of us together as one , but also for living it out, reinforcing and growing the family values of love, care and responsibility for each other.

With the grace of God, I look forward to many more years of close togetherness. I now look forward to our Golden Wedding Anniversary Family Time together! I am sure Angeline, Kian Joo and Kian Jin also do!

How are you buiding your relationship together?

STEVE JOBS TAUGHT ME ABOUT SIMPLICITY

2011-10-08T11:25:00.004+08:00

I'm among the millions who will miss Steve Jobs, the master architect and brain behind Apple.

I asked myself in which part do I really miss, or rather he has taught me? Is it his creativity, innovativeness, passion? Or is it his stoic attitude as he battled with pancreatic cancer since 2004? Is it his visionary attribute?

Those were definitely admirable traits of Steve, but for me, the most profound one is definitely his lesson of SIMPLICITY to me.

Every of Apple's products has this element of Simplicity in it that gives it the power to transform life with the overarching purpose of making life more fun and entertaining for everybody - the old and young - in the world.

Even for me, I use an IMAC, an iPod, and in the family, I have my 2 children, Joo and Jin, on iPhones and iPads as well. The latest to acquire one is my wife, Angeline, who now has an iPad!

Indeed, Steve Jobs has changed the world through the principle of Simplicity.

Like his former partner said, “here is a guy that created tools that everyone in the world -- billions of people -- just love, and feel happy and good about." I totally agree with him.

Now for the bigger picture of my life. If I've attained some measures of success, I owe it through consciously and consistently living out the SIMPLICITY value (of Steve Jobs). I'm one of his disciples who have been and is increasingly using this strategy.

I enjoy and get the maximum out of life because I always seek ways to shortcut, while enhancing the quality and results. Be it the way I dress, write, create ideas, design programs, make speeches, etc it always has an air of simplicity in it. I ride a bike too, and more often than the car because I can leave later for an appointment and yet get there faster than most motorists! These are some of my short cuts in the name of Simplicity.

People have learned to accept me for what I am. Even my clients do. I found that if you believe in what you do, and is proud of yourself, people will accept and respect you better. Steve did that too in all areas of his life. He was so simple - a multibillionaire - but he went about in a pair of faded jeans and a long sleeve T-shirt. The world accepted him for what he was. In the same breath, I am also glad that everyone does that for me too!

I can go on writing about this but I think you know what I mean. For sure Steve Jobs will always be cherished as an iconic role model of Simplicity as I continue to use it as my life strategy!

What's your life strategy and who do you owe it to?

MY GOOD FRIEND ON ‘BORROWED’ TIME

2011-09-06T17:24:00.003+08:00

With Vijaya at Phuket

As a coach I often asked my clients and students this question, “What will you do if you had only 6 months to live”?

This powerful question inevitably generates different answers such as:

”I’ll just stay close to my family till the last day”
”I’ll do the things that I’ve always wanted to but had never done so till now”.

This hypothetical question besides raising empathetic feelings within us is really for this purpose: to help us to evaluate what we should be doing to get our priorities right. It is fortunate that for many of us, we have not been put on our ‘death beds’ to figure out what we should be doing with our lives.

Arriving in Phuket with my family,
VIjaya & Anki

Let me share with you an actual experience when I have had the opportunity to journey with a very good childhood friend of almost 45 years, Vijaya Kumar. He was actually given a short notice to live two years ago. What I mean is this: Vijaya needed a liver transplant badly and it was not easy to get one. He was among the 2,000 patients waiting for a suitable donor and besides that, it must be from the same body mass and the recipient must be totally free from illness at the time when they are selected for the transplant.

Relaxing at sea enroute to Phi Phi Island, near Phuket

In a country like Sweden where he lives, to get your turn for a liver would probably be very remote because not only is the population small, but also life expectancy is long. Due to this, each waiting day for the last 2 years was agonizing as his health was fast deteriorating, memory was fading and all in all he became literally a ‘living zombie’.

To cut a long story short, let’s say God gave him the second chance to live. He did beat all odds, got the liver he wanted so badly, and is living again! I guess God knew he wanted to live again for he is very positive despite what seemed then to be a losing battle! His soul mate, Anki, was equally positive too. That gave him the much needed ‘ammunition’ to fight the battle of his life.

Can you imagine what this feeling is like, to get back your life?

Sharing a meal together

Now he is living again! He is back in Malaysia with his dear partner, Anki, to celebrate and enjoy the time of his life. Indeed he is on ‘borrowed time’. He dearly treasures every moment of his life. Everything is good. Everything is being appreciated. He is thankful for everything. I could see this in every of his expressions and the way he is enjoying his life now.

Right now, I am not on borrowed time, and so are many of you. So do we appreciate and care for ourselves and dear ones as if we only have 6 months to live? Or shall we live in the present? Or do we wait till something happens like in Vijaya’s case, living on borrowed time, with hope in God and answered prayers?

Do you have a similar story to share with me, Vijaya and Anki?

Stories That Coach!: MY ‘INNER GAME’ OF MACC

2011-08-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

Stories That Coach!: MY ‘INNER GAME’ OF MACC

MY ‘INNER GAME’ OF MACC

2011-08-04T13:53:00.010+08:00

Ever since I left the corporate world in 2003 to start a coaching business, I could feel God’s presence in all my work in this field. One of His biggest gifts to me was helping me in founding the Malaysian Association of Certified Coaches (MACC) in 2010 to be first and only government-approved national body in coaching here (and perhaps in the world).

2 AGM of MACC

Recently, He made this gift even better. The Registrar of Societies approved MACC’s amended constitution which rooted MACC permanently to carry out CCA’s vision of ‘growing a vibrant coaching community’ in this part of the world. In doing this, it recognized MACC as the legal alumnus of CCA, granting powers to a Board of Governors (BOG) to oversee its activities, and making it necessary for top positions in its EXCO to be helmed by certified coaches from this alma mater.

For a long while, I have had this fear that MACC might suffer the fate of many organizations; big and strong in the beginning but they wither and die in later years. I wanted to prevent this very much. And I worked very hard to ensure that MACC growth’s is smooth. In doing this, I faced many challenges, opposition, jealousies and suspicion from some who felt that I was power hungry. I lost some good friends along the way as well. But I stayed resolute and convicted in this belief as my conscience is clear. To me, it is not about wanting power for power’s sake. This power is only to ensure the sustainability and permanency of MACC so that it continues to move forward to the realization of its vision. And this is my only agenda!

Launching the Coaching Standards
Handbook

MACC needs a guardian. The Executive Committee (or EXCO in short) in any association is not permanent; it comes and goes after a 1-2 year term. We can never be sure of their capabilities and commitment as one EXCO changes for another over the years. We can also hope for the best. The ‘guardian’ in the form of a Board of Governors is important for they are truly 110% committed and are permanent ‘stayers’ with only one mission in their mind - to ensure that everything goes well today and becomes even better tomorrow.

With Rachel, Richard & Susan

I will always feel deeply obligated to people who have invested time, efforts and money in coaching and in MACC to help themselves grow further. And I continue to do this until my last breath for all my students, graduates and MACC members. I want to ensure that whoever helms CCA after me will share the same philosophy, belief, commitment and drive to continue with this mission. And so, I ask of them this : to give at least 70% commitment to MACC. But mine is always 110% for sure. This is expected of anyone in the BOG so that we provide the vision, be the “check and balance system”, and be always ready to ‘dirty’ our hands whenever they are needed.

Now all these fears are history. The future is very bright for MACC. I can now confidently say I can leave behind a legacy: a strong platform to grow bona fide Coaches and Coaching driven by both CCA and MACC in ‘hands and glove’ partnership, very smoothly and unabatedly as well!

In coaching terms, I have won the ‘inner game’ of putting up strong ‘balloons’ against the ‘buckets’ of dangers that stand in the way of MACC’s journey in growing a vibrant coaching community’.

I am sure that God will always be with MACC in its mission to pursue the Coaching cause as we coaches (as the late Michael Jackson said) ‘can make the world a better place for you and for me’.

How do you want to be part of this journey to change the world?

IN MEMORY OF BILL NG

2011-07-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

Bill with his family,
taken from his Facebook page

I attended Bill's very moving memorial service on 19 July 2011 and was honored to deliver an eulogy as well.

Bill was a great man who gave to his family all he had earned with his blood, sweat and tears. He had built a strong united family made of unconditional love. It was really all for them with little for himself except for good food which he always couldn’t resist.

From the eulogies from his 3 beautiful daughters, Natallie, Tania and Amaris, I could feel their intense and pure love for him in the midst of immense pain which they have to bear for now. I pray that the pain will soon be replaced with everlasting fond memories for them to treasure all the days of their lives.

Bill's sudden death taught me a few lessons of life!

Firstly, not only is our time here on earth temporary but it can be suddenly taken away like what happened to him when on a business trip to Paris. Our preparation for this eventual moment must be as tiptop as possible where we should do as much good as we can, like his generous heart, humble nature and likeable personality. I knew he had all these fine qualities because he stood out among many that made me recruit him as my tour manager 24 years ago.

Secondly, the other lesson I learnt is his razor sharp focus on the family, teaching them great values to become fine and God-fearing people.

Finally, notwithstanding all these, God must always be the over-arching anchor upon which everything else must depend.

In my eulogy, I said that Bill was taken away so soon because he had already served God's purpose on earth. So in this sense, he was ahead of all of us. He now towered over us with the powers to watch and guide us always. Because of this, he will always be with us and we with him.

Thank you, Bill, for your precious and unforgettable lessons of life. May you rest in heavenly peace, always.

What needs your attention now? What do you want others to say about you when you were gone?

MY 4 REASONS WHY JEREMIE AVEROUS IS A TRUE BLUE COACH

2011-06-28T15:55:00.003+08:00

When Jeremie Averous took the floor at the recent Monthly Roundtable (gathering of coaches and coach students) of the Malaysian Association of Certified Coaches (MACC) as both a professional certified coach and author, I could feel a great sense of achievement and fulfillment in him which I was equally proud of.

Jeremie was speaking on his book ‘The Fourth Revolution’ which he had successfully written, published and is now on the shelves of many global bookstores such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble and I heard it is available as an ebook readable on a Kindle!

What is the essence of this book? It is a book that set its sight of what the world will become and how we, coaches and non coaches , will need to choose whether we want to move forward to embrace the new information age, or stay put where we are, or even backtrack to the past.

Jeremie’s achievement in writing this insightful book is no small feat for many reasons.

Firstly, he is French but he has written a book in English! This is a testimony of someone who has stepped out of his ‘comfort zone’!

Secondly, he is an Expatriate Project Manager of an Oil & Gas organization who should be attempting subjects like Engineering, Geology or something related to his field of expertise, but instead, he has ventured out to new terrains of socio-economies and management. This is a testimony of someone who has an expanded horizon of the world, making him well- rounded and holistic.

Thirdly, he wrote his book in the midst of a busy working life, family life as well as a student life as he was pursuing his professional coach certification during this time. This is a testimony of someone who, with a compelling purpose, will stop at nothing whether it is time or hard work (or other excuses) to achieve.

Lastly, but the most significant of all is this: Jeremie is really living it out as a true blue coach.

These qualities I mentioned are not just hallmarks of a great person but they are the very things we as coaches do to inspire, role model and challenge our coachees to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals and in the process, make this world a better place to live in.
I am glad that I shared a small part of this inspiring journey with him, having coached him on this issue of writing and publishing a book in one of the many coaching sessions of his coach certification program. Although I must say that my contribution was little compared to what he had single handedly achieved.

Kudos to you, Jeremie, and I’m looking forward to your next book.

Who else do you know who has such shining examples of coaches who live it out? Do share with me and my readers.

GETTING MY PERSONAL SPACE

2011-06-03T17:05:00.009+08:00

St. Mary Mackillop

Today is a very special day, for my wife, Angeline, and my son, Jeremy, are performing a sort of ‘pilgrimage’ at the site where St. Mary Mackillop was buried, known as the Mary Mackillop Place in Sydney (http://www.marymackillop.org.au/pilgrimages/index.cfm?loadref=37).

People come for a variety of reasons to this sacred place with many coming specifically to pray through Mary’s intercession for healing in their lives or in the life of a loved one. Angeline and Jeremy will be praying for everyone (with me included) and especially for Jeremy.

I long to be with them at this special time but I’m up to my neck with many programs and appointments. So, the best thing I can do is to join them in prayers in my ‘personal space’ aiming to close the distance of thousands of miles that separates us.

During this 2 weeks of ‘personal space’, I will be alone – like some people will say – being a bachelor boy again! One of the thoughts that runs through my mind in a time of self reflection is : have I lost my life/work balance? Just not being able to have a family reunion of sorts and joining my family in this pilgrimage seems to say so!

Another self revelation is the deep realization that I’m not to take anyone or anything for granted. Really, everything here on earth is temporary, and I got to really love myself as much as I love those dear ones who are an integral part of the wonderful life that I am getting and enjoying.

The third thing I learnt is that it may be good that Angeline ‘leave me’ for a while to see how I can fend for myself, and make me appreciate how she has cared for me, taking care of all my needs, including cutting my nails! I wish I have a photo of those unforgettable moments when I trust my finger nails to her expert trimming!

And, lastly but most importantly, once again I’m struck with wonder at the unseen and mysterious hands of God who works silently (and sometimes loudly for those hard of spiritual sensitivity) to prepare each one of us to be better people before we leave this temporary place called Earth and be with Him.

Wow! It’s amazing what a 2 week’s ‘personal space’ has started to do for me and can do more for me. By the way, if I were to look at things from my wife and son's angle, I am sure they also want some breathing space from me sometimes, right? Hope not, as they say, 'absence makes the heart fonder'.

Do you like to share your ‘personal space’ stories with me and other readers of my blog?

MY LONG AND WINDING ROAD

2011-05-14T15:20:00.029+08:00

Standard 2

Very strangely, over the last couple of weeks, there has been a sudden hive of activities involving exchanges between my former classmates about our school days, in the forms of verbal conversations, emails from everywhere enquiring or recalling about another classmate or an event, and also attachments of old school photos taken since the 50s!

These old photos taken together with them in my primary and secondary schools were really something to me. That is why I am posting these ‘personal treasures’ in my blog for the world to see. It is also my safe place for me to revisit them for I know they will be there forever without getting lost anymore!

Standard 3

Looking at the photos brings back so many memories about the phase of my life from the 50s to the 70s which were my prime years, or rather my formative years which have greatly influenced me to be what I am today. I begin to understand my own wheel of life on how it has turned and revolved, transforming me from a little boy to a senior citizen today! It was indeed my own version of the ‘long and winding road’.

Standard 4

One of the most impactful phases of my life was my 11 years of schooling at my alma mater, St Anthony's School in Teluk Intan. I think many of my classmates share the same view as well. As for me, during this period, I lived a school life that was filled with extreme contrasts. Here was the time where my family and I lived in wealth and also in poverty. I was recognized as a leader when the school made me a prefect for a few years but was stripped off the position because I was caught fighting. It was a time of my life where I excelled in my studies, but also hit the low point at the end of my secondary school life when I failed the most important public examination which forced me to take a different career pathway. This coaching career of mine definitely was an outcome of this painful period of my life.

Form 3

So in my life, there was happiness and pride but there was shame and rejection as well. The most important thing is I SURVIVE! I am really glad that I had this life rather than a smooth sailing one. For without the hard knocks, I don’t think I will be a survivalist like what I am today. With a world that is so challenging and complex, these experiences really have taught me well.

As a coach now, I have this wisdom to share with my clients. Among the most important things I share with them is: take things with lightness, whether they are failures or success. Somehow when we do that, we take off the loads from ourselves. And because of this, we stay light and positive with hope in the horizon. Doing this helps to send out positive energies from our body system that attract goodness in many forms. For sure, goodness will prevail and all misfortunes and bad luck will fade away.

My experiences also taught me the huge importance of people in our life. We got to keep connecting, and with a positive mindset, we also attract good people. With good people around us, we will never be lonely and hopeless because there will be people who feel for us. This gives our lives more special meaning. When we can share our life with others and give back to people, it explains the difference between success and fulfillment.

I am glad I am beginning to get more joy and meaning in my life today, thanks to the long and windy road of my life. And thanks to God for guiding me along this journey.

I am sure you too have your teachable moments from your own life. Share with us on what they have taught you so that we can learn from you too.

A PERSONAL REFLECTION

2011-04-30T20:47:00.040+08:00

With MACC Coaches after the 2nd AGM

The phase ‘leaving behind a legacy’ had been, until 5 years ago remained a ‘tall order’ to me. Till then I always thought that only great people could do such mammoth things, for eg, Thomas Edison with his discovery of electricity, Bill Gates with his Microsoft empire, Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew with his building of a super modern Singapore, and so on.

And me …………..? Never had thought of myself in this league at all then! It was just doing a job, earning a living. Over the last 5 years, the patterns and circumstances in my later life started to slowly but steadily change my belief system, and perhaps even removed the last bits of my own self limiting beliefs (or SLBs in short) about ‘who I was’.

Wow! It's such a nice feeling autographing
a copy of my 1st book

I began to realize and accept that I was actually starting to do great things without knowing it or planning for it. In His way, God has His plans for everyone and I was on His bigger scheme of things. Somehow in 2001, He guided me to the land of Coaching and perhaps told me quietly that this was the place that I could do great work, and leave behind a ‘legacy’ before I leave the planet Earth.

And, I’m happy to say that I’ve been there since then.

Such a proud moment with Kit,
our 1st CPC Graduate from Thailand

Yes, I dare say that I have been doing great things - for instance, I had a part to play in bringing Coaching to this part of the world; I've helped many hundreds of like-minded people to become coaches as well; set up two coaching association bodies; and the latest was the launch of the Coaching Standards Handbook on 31st Mar 2011.

Always animated when
sharing about coaching

Wow! I did all these! Never foresaw this nor thought I was able to do all these. I'm ‘unstoppable’ because the adrenalin in me is still surging forth to do even more until the day I hang up my “coaching boots” or when I meet my Creator. But for now, even though I’m one foot into the next decade, I find myself so charged up, like having a new lease of life, and enjoying every minute of it.

At the "Coaching Standards" Launch

I hope I’ve encouraged my readers to believe that we all can do great things as long as we tell ourselves so. We need not plan for it, just taking things as they come and never be discouraged with setbacks because they will go away when we firmly believe in ourselves! There's no self-limiting beliefs that are too big to break.We can fly like eagles where the sky is our only limit. In short, we can all leave behind a legacy!

What do you want to leave behind?

TEAM CHARTER FOR BMC TRAVEL. FIRST EVER IN THE TRAVEL INDUSTRY!

2011-04-23T20:15:00.027+08:00

Billy Leong, MD of BMC
at the launch of the Team Charter

BMC's strength in travel lies in their ability to design and execute highly creative travel packages for their clients, not mentioning the thousands they have to handle at any one time.

Thus, teamwork and coordination, putting in the best brains and effort together is key to their success. And they are very successful with 90% of their clients coming back to them again and again.

Indeed, they are the big boys in incentive travel. Their boss, Billy Leong, is a very dear friend. So it was an honor to work with him and his people to formulate a Team Cohesion Charter in Chiengmai recently. The exercise involved every one of its 40 staff stating what 5 behaviors they will give to the team and 5 behaviors to expect from them.

Great work! This will guide everyone to behave in ways that conform with their Team Charter. This will definitely make them even stronger to lead the incentive travel market.

Syabas BMC!

ING Boleh!

2011-03-30T20:38:00.041+08:00

I had the honor of been part of its coaching journey to implement a mentoring system where 13 of its Million Dollar (MDRT) Achievers came forward to lend a hand to grow other aspirants.

What pleasantly surprised and impressed me was the 120 MDRT aspirants who turned up in a 1 day mentor-meet-mentees to be 'recruited' as mentees where demand outstripped its supply.

ING is definitely the first in the insurance to take on this very innovative and humane initiative to grow its people in a very systematic way, and using the Coaching way too!

Syabas to Coaching & ING!

SALUTATION TO WEE HEN! A GLOBAL CERTIFIED COACH ALL THE WAY!

2011-03-08T20:28:00.001+08:00

Way to Go, Wee Hen!

People say 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. The truth is I do and often get it right, say, 70% of the time when I judge people by their “covers”. I guess when you are a Coach, you acquire this small gift of discerning which gives you some accuracy on reading people.

One person that I could never get it wrong is Tang Wee Hen who recently attained the global Associate Certified Coach (ACC) status from ICF! With her in the list, Wee Hen became the 3rd ICF credentialed coach that CCA has produced.

And I was not too surprised too! Right from the onset when she signed up for CCA's coach certification program a year or so ago, I already saw a Coach in the making. She simply stood out from many.

What are the external cues that tell me that she has Coach material? One can't escape noticing her positive outlook, her relationship skills and her vibrancy (that sends 'vibration' to her surroundings). Such are superb traits that most successful people have. They not only accelerate people forward but also help sustain their motivation and interest for a long long time. This probably explains why the desire to be a coach stayed on throughout her coach-learning journey. While many would have fallen off the wayside, she soldiered on, studying for it, left her cosy job as a financial adviser and took on a new one, and she remained steadfast in her goal to be an ICF Credentialed Coach.

Indeed, she is ICF Credentialed Coach all the way! How about you?

AN OPEN LETTER OF MY BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE TO RACHEL SIM

2011-02-27T17:34:00.002+08:00

With Rachel at
MACC's 2nd AGM yesterday

Happy birthday Rachel! This day is special for you and also to me. I have always wanted to thank you for supporting me in my vision to 'grow a vibrant coach community. Your sense of duty is highly commendable. This gift is not for everyone, but among the 'not so many' I know, you are definitely one!

People often ask me what is the one quality that leaders must have. To me, sense of duty tops it all. And you have it!

I know I can always count of you, for the big and the small, working on weekdays or weekends, day or night when the situation warrants it. What makes you special is because you have a strong conscience and also a sense of 'guilt' or as you prefer to put it, "a sense of responsbility" which you have turned it into your advantage to be someone creditable, reliable and dependable! I hold dear to these great attributes of yours.

Happy birthday once again!

‘COACHES’ WHO EVENTUALLY BECOME COACHES

2011-02-22T20:50:00.001+08:00

Like the saying ‘you need to separate the boys from the men’, the same goes with coaches too! In my mind, this saying tells you there is a fine difference between the two.

Back to coaches. I must have trained and certified hundreds over the last 7 years. Fifty percent (50%) of them ended up doing nothing with what they have learned; they eventually landed in the same spot where they first started. Forty-five percent (45%) did something about it; they either do coaching on a part time basis, with some actually going into the profession of coaching, either in the workplace or marketplace. Five (5%) of them went the extra mile; they become truly ICF credentialed professional coaches!

There are now 2 in the 5% bracket who went the extra mile: Rajiv Mathews and Florence Lam. Rajiv became a Professional Certified Coach and Florence became an Associate Certified Coach under the ICF banner.

From left: Me, Florence, Rajiv, Bob

So what gave them the cutting edge? I spent a while figuring out the reason and I think I have a way to explain it. In my coach certification program, I teach a topic called ‘Personal Fulfillment’. In this concept, similar to the understanding of life balance, there is this thing called ‘fulfillment balance’ too. In here, there are 4 quadrants: joy, meaning, duty and achievement. What it means here is both Rajiv and Florence are people who like the others have joy (or personal satisfaction) and meaning (or personal ‘conscience’) in coaching. But it is they who have the other 2 as well - duty (or a sense of responsibility) and achievement (a sense of success) - that took them a few notches higher than others.

That’s why they are coaches who are making a mark in the coaching scene here, and I am very sure their eyes are also casted beyond the shores of Malaysia.

How about the rest of you? As coaches, you need to follow in Rajiv and Florence’s footsteps to become true coaches if you want to have the standing to preach to your clients on why people need to have ‘high performance values’ or be role models to others. That’s the best ‘medicine’ for the cure. And the beauty is when you do this, you actually turn your pursuit in Coaching into a successful coaching profession where you now have the joy of helping people, the meaning of helping to make a better world, the duty of responsibility, and the achievement of making it big in coaching.

If you have moved forward in coaching, what other reasons have propelled you forward? If you have not, what’s holding you back?

A VERY MEANINGFUL BIRTHDAY EVENING

2011-01-15T12:45:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday to you!

One more year has just passed as I turn 59 or 60 if I count it the Chinese way on a special 11.1.11. I chose to spend an entire evening with a bunch of people who have been and will always be dear to me – the tour managers and ex HR team from Reliance. It was walking down with them through a very memorable lane, talking about the time we had together. Some tearful ones and some painful ones but most importantly, we have a good laugh at the things we did together. Like what Jo Kan said, “With Michael, it was a 'love-hate' relationship; while we hated many of the things he wanted us to do, it was also because of them, we are what we are today”!

With my wife

This is an extract of what I spoke about:

"There are many things in our lives that we remember and cherish. One of them is my time with Reliance, but more specially and dearly, is the time of my life with you all, the tour managers and my HR people.

My family

We grew up together through the good and tough times together. We worked through them and came out very successfully. I remember how tour managers had to sell tours to get their tours, how they had to justify and defend their declaration of their optional incomes, keeping to a code of discipline in office and while on tour, acquiring and sharing knowledge in monthly dialogues and yearly conferences, and stretching their creativity in our annual dinners to make them the best anyone could ever dream to have.

My family and I wish to thank you for coming, from near and afar, including those who can’t make it. It is not only your presence here tonight that I appreciate, but for all those years, at least for 25 years, you always remember to send your greetings, even gifts and meals on my special day.

You all look well, happy, healthy and highly prosperous too! May God continue to bless us all for the rest of our lives."

You came, and made my birthday extra special!

Front row: Lawrence Tan, Simon Teh, Fong Mun Toh, Dax Seow, Colin Choo, Denis Chan, Joseph Chong, Greggory Chew
Middle Row (Standing): Richard Hong, Damien Mok, Janice Soo, Alex Goh, Eliza Cheah, Josephine Ong, Heah Kian Jin, Michael Heah, Angeline Heah, Angelin Loo, Doreen Wong, Chua Swee Choo, David Chan, Edwin Yong.
Last Row: Jessica Hor, June Yee, Jasmine Leow, Choy Kim Lan, Josephine Kan.

WELCOME 2011! ANOTHER LIFE CHANGING YEAR!!!

2011-01-01T14:56:00.002+08:00

With my son, Jeremy

Just like you, I have just left behind a wonderful year, with another one just beginning. I remember making lots of resolutions in the beginning of 2010, and I’m glad most of them have been fulfilled. Wow! My resolutions actually became true! One of the most remarkable one for me is this: Keeping my blog alive! I’m patting my back and telling myself : ‘ Mike, you have done a pretty good job’!

I can proudly call myself a blogger now as I’ve been quite consistent in getting out my coaching stories every month. You know, the real reason this has been possible is because of You! I want to thank you all for it. You have been following me. This has been the best booster for me to carry on and on. With more and more followers now, I am simply elated and encouraged that my ‘Stories that Coach’ has a place in your heart. My blog is the platform where I can express myself in any way I want and not be tied to any editorial constraints and requirements. This is really freedom!

I am really benefitting and enjoying every moment of being a blogger. Somehow, because I want to commit to doing 2 blog stories a month, I make an attempt of making certain events in my life happen as I want it. This is really great as I get to know, and in a way plan for the ‘unknown’ to happen. I truly feel I have so much more control over my life as a result of this!

So 2011 is another year for me to experience, reflect, express and share my life experiences as I go through each phase and season. It is another year of living out my passion and of giving acknowledgement and showing my gratitude to the people and organizations in my life that mean so much to me.

With my dependable Angels

I am excited about this new year. Many great things will happen as I want it to be. And it will be! I see Coaching becoming an even greater force in the lives of people. More will embrace it. And many more will be touched by its powers in transforming their lives to be even more fulfilling ones. I see myself and my partners in Corporate Coach Academy and the Malaysian Association of Certified Coaches, all doing great work for our stakeholders and community. I also see myself making further positive changes in my personal life to be a better husband, father, boss, leader, coach and friend!

So how have you planned for this year to make things come true for you? Share your story with me and the other readers of my blog so that together we can support you in your move forward towards achieving your goals in the new year.

GOOD BYE, 2010!

2010-12-26T14:03:00.007+08:00

Relaxing Time in Melbourne

As the curtains come down for 2010, I like to wish all my readers: Have a Great Year Ahead! I too hope that this year has been good for all of us with plenty of achievements and learning lessons that make it a cherishable one.

As for me, this one has been good, and I thank God for it. A lot has been achieved including been true to my promise that I would keep the blog going consistently. See you next year.

Going off to Melbourne to spend Xmas there.

With my family in Melbourne

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you and your family & friends.

SALUTE TO THE NEW CERTIFIED COACHES!

2010-12-12T20:52:00.002+08:00

One of the most inspiring moments of being the CEO of a coach-learning institution is to witness your students eventually graduating as Professional Certified Coaches.

It is a great milestone in their lives as it requires both sacrifices and investment of efforts, time and money. They earn this unique and rare qualification by staying true to their commitment and determination to take on the challenges. They succeed because there is an overarching purpose in their lives where supporting people to grow means everything and they get great satisfaction and joy from it.

As for me, it is a personal fulfillment to see my own vision of “growing a vibrant coaching community in Asia” taking shape, as more and more people from all walks of lives and industry sectors are embarking on Coaching to accelerate the transformation of individuals and organizations.

Recently, at our 5th Graduation Ceremony, I witnessed once again 30 graduates taking the stage to receive their “stripes” as qualified professional coaches. Every year I am part of this proud ceremony, sharing the joy with the graduates and their loved ones. However, deep inside me I asked myself when will be the day when I can see some graduates from the tourism industry sharing the stage with the others from other industry sectors. As you might surmise from previous blogs, my two great loves are tourism and coaching.

Except for a lone hotelier who graduated from the CPC program 3 years ago, this wish of mine has yet to be fulfilled. And you may ask, “What has coaching to do with an industry like tourism?” Plenty, if you understand the volatile and tough environment that this industry has to bear with. At the strike of any crisis, financial or non financial, it will have immense impact on its growth across the globe. It is an industry that thrives on very low margins and the products are somewhat homogenous that inevitably lead to fierce cut throat competition. It is also an industry that can be lesser attractive because of the long and odd hours, where “you work when people are enjoying themselves”!

Tough and competitive environment is the place where Coaching strives best. That is why no other method can replace Coaching in sports to shape up sports people to be peak performers to win the game of nerves, speed, focus and accuracy. And indeed it is so for tourism organizations as its people need to be holistically developed as well, in body, mind and soul. Only then can they stay consistently at their best to deal with the demands of their jobs.

Simply speaking, Coaching is the game for winners. Coaching stretches the mind and pushes the body to break performance barriers. Those people who have coaches have both the will and the skill to go for their goals. When an organization equips their managers with a coach mindset and skills, they become powerful leaders who gain the personal powers to communicate, persuade and inspire. Not only this, they are consistently positive and forward looking, making them living role models to their people in all situations.

What do you think? Please use the COMMENT box to share your thoughts on this blog.

A Tribute to MUM

2010-11-26T15:37:00.002+08:00

My Mum - the Greatest!

Most people draw their inspiration from personalities whom they can identify with their values, philosophies and styles. Naughty boys like me, where during my younger days, chose ‘Hercules’ as their heroes, while young obedient girls I knew would love to own and cuddle a Barbie doll as it embodied beauty and grace.

However, my idol of Hercules left my life as quickly as he came into it. When I was much older, I have others to inspire me. Among them are our former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir, for his guts and courage, former US President, Bill Clinton for his tact & diplomacy, and my dear ex-boss Datin Irene Gan for her quick mind, strategies and innovativeness.

But my mum was not on my list then! It fact I only became aware of her influence and inspiration on me when I became a coach 7 years ago. In my work, I guide students and clients to acquire mental strength through finding their true role models. So that was then that I too went searching for my role model and ‘found’ my mum. Conclusively, she has been my biggest source of inspiration.

Mum exerts such great impact on my entire life. If I can call myself successful and fulfilled, it is my mum, who has been the main contributing factor. Mum taught me many invaluable lessons. She taught me about setting an early life foundation to weather any storm in my life. She also taught me selfless family love through personal sacrifices. In addition, she taught me about living a healthy life no matter how old a person may be. Finally, she taught me the life model of simplicity and pragmatism to enhance personal capabilities for faster results.

The wonderful thing is all these were taught to me not through words of wisdom for she neither has the education nor the eloquence to do it. Hers was through her hands-on daily actions which I quietly watched throughout my journey into adulthood. I watched how she singlehandedly undertook the huge responsibility of building and growing a family unit for the 7 of us.

I learned about the need for a strong life purpose when I realize that many people can’t hold to their goals, while Mum had the iron will to toil and slog as a school canteen operator who began her work at 4.30am till late into the day, without any thought of giving up on us.

I learned about selfless love for the family when I come to know how family breakups happen due to selfish parents who are more interested in pursuing their own things, but Mum was living, working and saving every single penny just for us.

I learned about her lessons on health when I see youngsters (who are a fraction of her age) resigned to a docile life of the ‘I am too old’ syndrome, while Mum in her 70’s was still representing Malaysia, winning medals in top level competitive sports. And at the overripe age of 85, Mum still keeps fit with her daily rounds of tai chi and choosing to drive a manual car to the market every day!

And finally, I realized how capabilities and effectiveness were built around the principles of simplicity and practicality where Mum could take on 7 children and a 12-hour manual work when some young parents can’t even cope with 2 kids and their cozy professional careers.

I want to say this to her: “Mum, I want you to know that you are my greatest. I am to share your time-tested life success philosophy and formula with as many people as I can. My blog in the cyber world is one place where I can pay this tribute to you. I want to tell the world how great a mum you are to all of us. I want to salute you as my greatest idol and mum. May God continue to give you more living years with us. I love you always. You will always be my greatest!

CELEBRATE SUCCESS FOR GREATER SUCCESS!

2010-10-29T20:42:00.020+08:00

If you are trained to be a good listener and observer, you need not have to work very hard to know what the truth is about a person, situation or organization. External signs and behaviors are more than enough to tell you. They tell a whole lot of story by itself. So when someone is happy or when an organization is healthy, there are certain tell tale signs that you can notice.

One organization that has obvious tell tale signs of their tremendous progress, success and dynamism is RELIANCE. Today, its brand name is already so deeply embedded into the minds of the travelling consumer so much so "travel" means "RELIANCE". It has gotten into the same league with other power brand names like Nokia to mobile phones, Rolex to watches, Maggi Mee to instant noodles and so on.

While other travel companies are still licking their wounds inflicted from the recent economic meltdown and natural disasters like the volcanic ashes in Europe, this company is dancing away with success.

And literally so, they were dancing away because I ‘caught’ them in this act when my wife Angeline and I were invited to attend an all staff event called the ‘3D Carnival Celebration’. It was a ‘let your hair down’ evening in appreciation for their people who had worked and contributed at the MATTA Travel Fair last September.

When you see a ‘baby boomer’ CEO like Datin Irene Gan rocking away in her latest party outfit together with her united team of leaders and dynamic workforce you then understand why the company has continuously stay relevant to the fast changing needs of the marketplace.

The celebration itself tells us a lot too. In the eyes of many travel companies, there is actually nothing to shout about having to work at a travel fair as there are so many in the year. Many of them would have ‘conveniently’ included this task of ‘working in travel fairs’ as part of their people’s overall job responsibilities.

However, forward-looking companies see this differently; they look for ‘excuses’ to celebrate their success with their people. When they take such an empowering perspective, it sends out a clear message that work is fun, and not dead end drudgery. They see merry making over good food, drinks, and entertainment as the best way for people to tear down the walls that stand in the way of good communication, bury misunderstanding and rebuild rapport with everyone.

Their core beliefs and values are somewhat rooted in the answers to these commonsense questions : Isn’t leisure the very thing about the travel industry? Isn’t this what the employees are expected to deliver to their customers? And doesn’t it make good sense that they are living it out themselves before they can sell this passionately to their customers?

Organizations that cleverly and sincerely combine their business vision, game plans, bottom lines with the ‘People Factor’ as an integrated strategic ‘concoction’ stands a far higher chance of gaining success in a highly competitive environment than those who simply maintain a narrow focus.

The ‘People Factor’ in RELIANCE, however, went a ‘little too far’. It was a night of entertainment provided by ex-employees for its current employees. Now that explains why I was invited there too. I too was an ex-employee who partnered them for 23 years! And still doing this from the outside!

So what’s the lesson? Even ex-employees are valued. There’s always a common ground no matter how diverse or different people are as long you believe in leveraging on people.

Somewhere in the middle of the evening, my wife Angeline whispered in my ears and said, ‘Do you realize that you are seated next to Datin Irene on one side as the former HR Director and the current Group HR Director is seated on her other side?’

Wow! That’s really something to ponder about. Not only is it an honor for an ex-employee to sit next to the CEO but also it further underscores this organization’s strong belief that human resources play a big role in their success!

When was the last time you celebrated your success or help someone celebrate theirs, and why? Do click on "Comment" box and share your experiences and stories.

NO SIGNS! WRONG SIGNS!

2010-10-18T13:51:00.011+08:00

"Hide & Seek" Roadsign

A very insightful time of my life was when I was doing my Masters’ thesis entitled “An International Study of International Tourism in Malaysia: Issues & Challenges”.

Although this was 30 years ago, my research had already revealed the huge potential of tourism in Malaysia made possible through its rich diversity of people, culture, heritage, sights etc, all packed up in one. Indeed, we are enjoying the fruits of all these right now and many more years to come.

But on the flip side, my research also revealed that we were playing “second fiddle” to Thailand and Singapore where tourists deliberately left Malaysia out even though we were so well “sandwiched” between the two countries. A host of issues were identified as “spanners in the work” which had prevented us from getting out of their shadows. Many of these issues have been solved but some still remain till today.

One that I’d like to talk about is the poor road signs which existed then and is still existing now, perhaps in larger magnitude now, considering that it is not only trunk roads we are talking about, but highways, superhighways and sprint highways that have changed the entire landscape of Malaysia’s infrastructure.

Each time when I or my friends, foreign ones included, get lost or why so many hours are wasted and unnecessary fuel burned to get from here to there, my mind automatically flashed to my research findings and I’m still amazed how a 30 year issue could be still an issue today.

The irony is that even with some of the world’s best highways, superhighways and sprint highways, one can still get lost rather easily too. Wouldn’t this put a spanner on domestic tourism or even international tourism when our foreign guests want to hire a car to drive around?I always consider myself a run-of-the-mill driver with an average sense of direction. I think I’m a good representation of at least 70% of all drivers. We do not have the “intuition” of F1 drivers but are “helpless” road users who really need help. So if I were to speak for the rest, we have a lot to do to make Malaysia a friendly motoring destination.

There are so many issues, but I want to pick just a few and I have a few funny names to describe them.

One of them is the “now you see, now you don’t” road sign. You follow a sign that says, “Damansara”. After a while, this sign is missing but another sign appears that says “Petaling Jaya” or “Subang Jaya”. And, after many kilometers, “Damansara” appears again. But you may be way led to somewhere else because you may think that you have missed it when driving.

The second one is the “hide and seek” road sign. Suddenly you discover you have overshot by a good number of kilometers because the sign you are looking out for is partially hidden by a tree branch or a whole tree! This is dangerous! If you discover this fast, you will almost automatically pull the brakes and bang! The car that has been tailgating you closely has crashed into your car! Some drivers may try to reverse their car back to where they should be turning off in a high speed highway. And that is truly dangerous!!!

The third is the “multiple choice” road sign. Suddenly you are perplexed to see three or more signs in separate bill boards located next to one another. Very quickly, you have to make a wild guess as to which one is for you. If you don’t get it, then you’lll have to come back to the same “examination center” to try your luck again.

The fourth is the “test your reflex” road sign. Without any warning, the sign suddenly appears requiring you to be very quick to turn off. This is dangerous if you have a car which is close behind as you won’t have enough time to put on your signal light.

The fifth one is the “visionary” road sign. Say you want to go to Ipoh from Kuala Lumpur but the sign you see at the start of the journey states “Kayu Hitam” instead of Ipoh. Unless you know that Kayu Hitam is the final point on the northern side of the north-south highway where Ipoh is part of it, you will be perplexed as to which way to head for.

Putting up signs is not just a straight forward task. It requires a good understanding of people’s behaviors on the road or empathy in short. Planners seem to be more focused on the planning and building of highways but not the finishing touch on how to guide people in a systematic way so that they really enjoy their ride instead of getting stressed and furious on the road. And certainly this is not a good way to make Malaysia a great motoring destination both for our locals and international guests.

I have driven many times when overseas. The road planners there really “baby sit” us. Somehow they know well in advance where, when and how you want to be helped when on their roads. That is why I always enjoy the experience of driving overseas without the frustrations, stress and anger that I often experience when driving ……… you know where, lah!

Do you have rib-tickling or hair-raising experiences or really pleasant experiences that you want to share with others? Click on the Comment box and start your story. I look forward to hearing from you.

AN EXCELLENT STORY OF EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE

2010-09-30T11:30:00.005+08:00

All smiles for Dragon Air

"Will we ever fly Dragon Air again”? I asked myself. “A resounding Yes”, I told myself many times, “whenever we have the slightest opportunity and perhaps, forever”!

This seems like a rather emotional declaration of commitment. Sure it is, when you have experienced what my family had experienced with this wonderful airline.
I have this vacation story to share. Although it is really ordinary, it speaks so much about this airline. It will be really an injustice if I did not write about this to give our salutation to Dragon Air, and to give some valuable insights to all tourism-related organizations of what delivering excellent customer service is all about.

My family and I got back to Kuala Lumpur from our 2 weeks vacation trips to China and Hong Kong. Two days later after stepping back home, we then realized the shopping bag containing a couple of T-shirts my son and I bought at the tempting shops of Hong Kong airport was not with us!

My wife and I tried to recall how this could have happened. Thanks to her good memory (as usual) we managed to trace the chain of events that took place.

We bought them at Hong Kong airport before boarding our flight on Dragon Air to Xiamen, the last leg of our holiday. With no time to put it into our hand carry bag, this shopping bag was pushed in between the many other bags in the overhead compartment. When we touched down at Xiamen airport, we had entirely forgotten that we had an extra bag to take along. We spent 10 days in Xiamen, and at no material time did we realize that this shopping bag was not with us.

What it means is we only made this shocking discovery more than 10 days later! For a while, we were resigned to the fact we had to bite the bullet for our carelessness. Negative self-talks ran inside us which ranged from: ‘who would be so kind to keep this for us, maybe it dropped off, other passengers (or the flight crew members) may have taken them, the airline wouldn’t be bothered to ‘just forget it’.’

At times of crisis like this one, being a corporate coach helps. Thanks to our training that we must be consistently positive and always have hope, we tried our luck. I suggested we should contact the airline, and delegated this task to my wife, Angeline. Not terribly convinced and half heartedly, she wrote an email to Dragon Air’s Customer Service Department to explain the case with details of the flight and shopping bag.

Within 24 hours, Dragon Air shot back an email to us with a scanned photo of the bag for our verification. We said yes. A call from Hong Kong followed from a very well-mannered and professional customer service officer who gave us instructions on how we could pick up it up at KLIA Airport. From our first email to finally collecting it, the process took 5 days in a very seamless and professional execution of customer service delivery that we will always remember.

In the eyes of Dragon Air, this simple ‘shopping bag’ case could have been a small routine act of customer service for an ordinary customer. But to me, it speaks volumes of an organization that does not just talk about ‘customer is first’ but put it in action

The truth is all companies talk about providing customer service excellence. Unfortunately, very few live up to this. When comes to the crunch, whether it is about appealing for a refund, requesting for a replacement, or even asking for more information, we are often met with stares, sulky looks and rude talking front liners who make things very difficult. In many cases, the customers are disappointed.

In reality, there is no evidence of good customer service until and unless the organization is put though a test. This is where the ‘rubber hits the road’ and the truth will prevail. So organizations that are sincere about delivering customer service excellence must really put their acts together to serve their customers in good and ‘bad’ times. This will make it imperative that their people are constantly been trained to fire up their passion to serve, to building a seamless customer service delivery system that will promote their brand names in good and bad times.

Dragon Air is doing this all the time. So now you know why we will want to fly Dragon Air again, and forever!

Do you have a similar heart-warming experience to share with me and other readers? Click on “Comment” to post your story.

THE SMILES TELL A LOT ABOUT YOUR COMPANY

2010-09-17T18:18:00.005+08:00

Being a corporate coach, it is common for me to get all sorts of requests from client organizations to help them boost their people’s performance. I remember one request asking me to coach their people to smile more!!!

I was very curious. So I asked the CEO on why he wanted to have such a program. He answered, with frustration in his eyes, “They are turning away customers with their sour and unfriendly looks and remarks”. Of course, my next logical question was, “Why don’t they smile”? He responded awkwardly and quickly gave a barrage of reasons, ranging from “I don’t know”, “Maybe they have bad attitude” or “Maybe they are in the wrong job”, etc.

Not satisfied with the answers given, I asked for his permission to do a quick tour of the workplace where I got a good snapshot of the office environment, observed a few characters, eavesdropped a few conversations and even got to talk to a few “reluctant” and unfriendly ones.

People do not need to be literally taught how to smile because we naturally know how to do it. We are all born with very fine qualities and smiling is among the first behavior that we learned. We smiled when our parents tickled us, played with us or gave us a toy. So why should adult people go through a “how-to-smile” program now? It does not make sense.

After this, I had a heart-to-heart talk with the CEO. Here’s an extract of what we discussed. The conclusion is that the people in the company are not happy. Bad service usually starts with an unsmiling staff. In tourism, an unsmiling company is a sin! It is the most basic requirement a customer will expect when they walk into a company to buy a holiday package. Imagine when you are faced with unsmiling staff; I am sure these thoughts will pop up in your mind; “How can I ever have a good holiday with them?” “How can they take care of me when they are so cold to me now even before I step into the plane, etc?”

Tourism entrepreneurs should always find ways to make their people work happily in their companies. Remember, working in this industry is highly demanding: work pace is fast, changes are rapid, competition is stiff, working hours are long; workload is heavy and endless, etc.

How will you know if they are happy? The best indicator is: how often do the staff smile? When this is present, then there is a high chance that they are serving the customers well. There is fun in the work place, even laughing off to lighten a complaint, and relationship and teamwork among staff is good for they go out for lunches and dinners together or occasional karaoke session to sing their blues away!

Creating a happy working environment is not simply a human resource initiative but a crucial business strategy and a very important one too. As air fares are common rated now with no one getting preferential treatment, and when every customer knows what they are paying for, there is only one way to compete: SERVICE!

How do you do it? Pay close attention to your people as much as you do to your customers. They are also humans and they too have needs and emotions like the customers. Stay close to them to know how they are doing. Get information from the grapevine; talk to a few “anchor” staff about the goings-on and they can tell you a lot of things. Act on them fast, before they turn ugly. Most of all, you become the role model of a smiling and friendly company by showing it in everything you do. This is the best way to inspire your people.

Back to this “how-to-smile” assignment from this company, did I get it? Oh yes, and more than that. We are in a long term partnership to make their company a healthy and happy one.

What's your experience with companies whose staff smile a lot? And those whose staff don't smile much? You can add a comment to this blog by clicking on the Post Comment button. I would really like to hear your story!

"PROUD MOMENT FOR YOU, A PROUDER MOMENT FOR US"

2010-08-25T15:21:00.004+08:00

These were the words that I wrote in the congratulatory card for our son, Kian Joo (who is or fondly called Joo) on the day of 7th August 2010 where he walked on stage of Melbourne University to receive his Commerce Degree with First Class Honours!

I carefully chose these words that could reflect how we as parents feel for Joo at this milestone of his life. His achievement is a shared one for there were 4 parties involved in his crowning achievement. For sure, there’s my wife, Angeline, his younger brother, Jin, his grandma, Mama Dulcie and me. While I have contributed to his intellectual and mental growth, Angeline has contributed a great deal to his personal growth that built him to be a very fine young man today. In his own way, Jin provided him the challenges to draw out his sense of love, responsibility, selflessness and the generosity of his love and support as his elder brother. His grandma, Mama Dulcie, gave him love, showed him love and taught him love. And of course, the man himself, Joo, who had to ‘grind the mill’ putting in the efforts, hours and the sacrifice of leaving home for the last 3 years.

So how do we really feel inside? Really proud, and really fulfilled. That’s all we can express. He was our successful ‘test case’ for putting our hands on parenting skills from the time of his birth 23 years ago. We were excited about his coming into the world, but were inexperienced then like all parents were. We had never really handled a kid before except for some ‘light experience’ as ‘god parents’ to our nieces and nephews.

But come to think about it, it wasn’t that difficult to deal with Joo all along. Except for some occasional heart attacks he gave us when having small fights with his younger brother, Jin, it has been smooth sailing most of the time. I guess it was searching for and finding the right ‘parenting formula’. So what was ours? An open family architecture that is supported by trust for each other, communication openness, acts of generosity, instant and sincere feedback giving, intellectual exposure and daily role modeling as parents. The rest was left to him to work it out. And it worked, and well beyond our expectations too!

As I have said, Joo is a fine man today. We are 100% at peace with him and with whatever he is doing. We know he knows when he is crossing the limits. Truly, we are really proud of him. It is not only about his brilliant academic achievements which he had demonstrated at each stage of his school, college and university life. He is also brilliant in his personality and character that packs in a set of values that keeps him in check as he really moves now into the adult world of challenges and opportunities. We know he will make it out there in a world where relationship is important. We know this when we were in Melbourne for a week. He has many friends in every nook and corner of the city and beyond. I guess the most gratifying thing to know is he is most balanced, where all parts of his life matters - his career, health, social life, personal growth, his family (always take us as his guiding light) and his spirituality as a God fearing young man.

The moral of my story is about laying the foundation stone, and laying it right. Well, there’s some hard work in the beginning for sure. But once you have done it well, the rest of it is simply really enjoying the fruits, watching how it blossoms right in front of your eyes. Isn’t this the kind of life fulfillment that everyone wants to have? Aren’t we proud? For sure, to Angeline, Jin, Mama Dulcie and me!

I am sure you too have similar experiences in helping someone grow. Why not share this to help others who may want to know how or even help those who have to revisit their parenting methods to reap better results. Click on Comment below and pen your thoughts and experiences.

TRULY A PEOPLE ORGANIZATION

2010-08-08T16:17:00.001+08:00

As usual, come July, ETN or Explorer Tourism Network gets into its ‘ritual’ of mindset and skills coaching to transform its people into talents under its Talent Management Initiative. Together with its CEO, Herman Lim and the Financial/HR Director, Ooi Ling Ling , we have, for the last 2 years, been working very closely to build ETN’s brand of Talent Management System (or TMS).

I know many organizations are into talent management, and I have been involved in many of it as well. The uniqueness of ETN’s TMS lies in these areas:

Firstly, they are really serious and committed to it. Why, the top bosses are not only involved in every step of it, but possess ‘people values’ that guide the way they have been managing the business for the last 12 years.

Secondly, it is only a company of 18 people where most other companies would have said these words ‘we are hardly surviving; we do not have the money nor the time to build them, let alone they running away after being trained!’

Thirdly, they are in the travel business where even many of the big boys (with due respect) relegate people development to a far corner of their priority list. No wonder ETN is a highly profitable organization both in good times and very bad times. It is growing very well, clinching new and big accounts. Clients simply love to deal with an organization such as ETN which possesses noble values of integrity and quality standards by a truly young team of committed staff. Taking this ‘road less travelled route’ has proved many organizations wrong that it is a waste to take people, develop them, and share its success with them.

ETN is truly a family with a wise and caring ‘father and mother’ role played by Herman and Ling Ling. Inculcating in them good ethics and values, and role modeling them in the everyday work life certainly bring joy, happiness, fulfillment and success to everyone. I am glad I am part of this as well.

Do you have similar experiences? What your views? I would love to hear your story.

FINDING THE ‘GEM’

2010-07-25T21:42:00.003+08:00

I’ve both a subject and an experience to share.

First, on the subject. I’m really into knowing more and skilling myself up with this incredible phenomenon called Appreciative Intelligence. In case if you’re thinking whether I’m adding to the confusion by adding another type of intelligence to the already many out there, I’m not. In fact, if you had time to study only one type of intelligence, then I’ll highly recommend this one only as it is at the core of all the others.

Appreciative Intelligence or AI, in short, has 3 parts to it:

• One, it is about powering up our mind to reframe to perceive people, events, things, etc in a more empowering way that the normal mind cannot see.

• Two, spot strength, talent, advantage in people, things, situations; again, where many people will pass it off as nothing.

• Three, grow that strength into a big goal.

Now, on my experience. I had this rare chance of working with Sarah Lee and Ping Lian also at the same Allianz conference where I worked with Janet and Colin whom I wrote about in my ‘THE BIG POWER OF LOVE’ blog post. Why I write about Sarah is because she exemplifies someone who has high AI in growing her autistic child, Ping Lian, into an art genius. This formidable pair of mother and son team is about to conquer the world of art.

Ping Lian, her son, is a very famous artist despite his deficiencies. In fact he is among the handful in Malaysia whose art can command a price from RM10,000 to RM100,000. So what is the great value of his art? It is unique, as it goes ‘against the grain’ of his autistic deficiency. People with his sort of deficiency are restless, do not have long attention span and have no focus. If you see his painting, it is just the opposite. It shows creativity, uniqueness, dexterity, patience, concentration, and certainly the work of a genius. His paintings have been exhibited in all the famous galleries in all the big cities of the world.

Janet reframed the way she looked at her child as a less-than a normal child. In this frame, she spotted his talent at an early age where many would have passed off as nothing, and systematically grew him to be what he is today.

So now you know why I’m into knowing more about AI. A coach, with AI becomes a ‘maestro’ who can shape and grow people to what they want to be. You see what others do not see, and help them pursue their dreams till they become a reality like what Janet has remarkably done for Ping Lian.

Do you agree this AI is something we ought to have? Do you have an AI experience to share?

THE BIG POWER OF LOVE

2010-07-09T11:32:00.017+08:00

I am sure many of you are like me, hearing and reading about the power of love but never really had encountered with someone with a big power of love. I had this opportunity to meet them, shared the same hotel with them, had supper with them and shared the same platform at the Allianz Conference that was held recently in Penang.

I was an invited speaker on a subject called ‘Appreciative Intelligence’ to 300 insurance agents, and I had Colin and his mum, Janet Ng, to support my talk. I was there to talk; Colin was to demonstrate his pianist skills; and Janet was to share how she raised a blind son and build his musical talents.

Forget about my talk, that’s not the objective of this blog. I want to talk about my experience with this ‘loving couple’. You see I had to know about them beforehand as I needed to talk about them a little before I introduced them on stage.

That gave me quite a bit of time to be with them and to know their ‘love story’. I spent an evening with them before the conference. The story of Colin and Janet is not only touching but it really shows what Love can do. I began to realize that true love is the biggest and most powerful force that really can conquer the unknown, the impossible, anything!

Colin is 26 years old. He was born with a skull deformity. This skull deformity caused a premature stop to the development of his eyes (so he's blind), ears (so his hearing is affected), nose, mouth and brain. Many people, including the doctor who not only tried to persuade Janet to give up on the child but actually tried to take away his life without the mum’s knowledge, thought that it would be best not to have Colin around. Somehow they could not succeed for Janet’s love for Colin was too great that nothing could stand in her way. God was there, and is still there for them, forever!

From that point, she raised Colin almost singlehandedly to where Colin is today – an accomplished pianist with a degree in Music, and the only blind person in Malaysia with such a proud credential. He is now playing not only at Bangsar Village in Kuala Lumpur but is well sought after by individuals and organizations to entertain them at their functions.

That’s on the surface only. For behind this successful man is his mum. She learned Braille first to help him learn. She collected all his college books in advance, got them converted to Braille and painstakingly took Colin through years of studies. Not only that, she has with love till today, attend to all his needs although Colin is much independent and quite a character to be with.

So we ask ourselves, what is it that can’t be overcome? Can our odds, disadvantages be as great as Janet? Indeed she is my inspiration and role model as well.

And, what Janet has to say when she read this blog post really sums it all: "Yes, I fully agree. Love overcomes everything. Without love, there is no meaning to life, no relationship, no interaction, nothing to look forward to as each day unfolds."

Do you have a similar wonderful story to share, or any comments you like to make on this story? Do login to your email account (gmail is best) and click on Comment, type in your comments, and click on Post.

That’s all for this post. Keep well and “see you” in my next post, 3 weeks from now.

BACK ON MY FEET AGAIN!

2010-06-20T20:38:00.008+08:00

Five months of absence and now I am back! In one piece too. Is this long absence going to happen again? I really hope not anymore. This seems a less likely thing to happen as I have engaged a ‘blog coach’, Rachel Sim. She promises to be on my back, keeping tab on my blogging performance besides the many other things she is commissioned to do in supporting me to be a successful blogger, something which I have always wanted to be.

So what actually happened? Since my last blog post, so many things have buried me under, literally. The largest of the heap is my increasing coaching work. I began to slowly lose my life balance quite a bit; taking a toll in almost every aspect of my life including my blog!

I must apologize to those who have been following my blog. You must be feeling disappointed, wondering why I have left it lying there, gathering dust. But honestly, I have had my thoughts on it, short of writing anything worth reading, feeling guilty that I could not get it off the ground. Indeed, the will was there, but not the discipline. I’m sorry, dear readers.

I fully empathize and sympathize with those out there who are caught in a similar whirlpool, with many parts of their life spiralling downwards. But do not be dismayed, for as long you put your thoughts on what you have to do, truly feel guilty about it, you will be like me, determined to rise to the occasion again.

In moving forward, I do not wish to talk about the past too much. No point regretting or sulking over it, right? That’s what we coaches do and coach others to do as well! So now it is ‘revival’ time and I am committing myself to making things happen in the blogosphere with regular postings of at least one story once every 3 weeks.

You know, I chose this day’ Father’s Day’ to make my reappearance and commitment. So it is really a significant event for a coach and father like me to honor my words. Oh yes, and now with a blog coach at my back, there is less danger of me slipping back. Hold me to this, Coach Rachel!

Lots of things have happened in the last few months, and I am dying to share the story, tell my tale. Give me a short breather, and I promise to be back, real soon.

Meanwhile, to all fathers, good and bad, here’s wishing you ‘Happy Father’s Day. This is a day of reminding us that we need to play a more responsible role to our loved ones, wives included.

Let me get back to you within 3 weeks’ from now.

MY BIRTHDAY LESSON

2010-01-15T13:22:00.000+08:00

Although I want to devote this blogpost to my birthday, I find it difficult to write about it. Why so? Because I came from an era where birthdays (at least mine) have always been a non-eventful occasion. If there was something to shout about then, it was a red egg that I would get from my mum. Even on red egg matters, I could count the number of them that I had received over the last 58 years of my life! By the way, I am 58 yrs old on 11th January ‘10.

So why am I writing about my birthday? Tough question. Not that I have nothing to write; in fact, so many things happened on that day that I could fill (and bore) you with pages of this very memorable event!

Let me try to explain the reason. You know, I always maintain and have been saying this in many of my coaching classes that ‘everyone of us has self-esteem issues’. There are always moments in our lives where we feel self defeated with words like ‘I can’t do it’, ‘it is not possible’, ‘it is really tough’, and so forth. These are the indicators that self-esteem (or negative self talks) issues are lurking inside us. And another way of knowing this is when we brush off compliments that people give us, either on the clothes we wear, a piece of word that we did well or whatever.

So am I a party to self-esteem issues? Yes, definitely. And how do I know? It is because for a long time I did not think that my birthday was such a big deal. So writing about it was tough because people would say ‘who cares’?

So why am I doing it? Because it is a big deal to me now. I had a great birthday because at least 100 people wished me in all sorts of forms, ranging from wishes from face book (all over the world), emails, text messages to personal ones from former and current employees, family members to even my dog, Vision, who has a tag throughout that day that says ‘ My best dad, happy birthday!’ And not to mention, the decorations in my house (that I took a while to realize due to the misconceived outlook of ‘who will ever do that’), the triple meals, the presents (including a Mont Blanc pen from my former employees and a GPS from my loving family members), and so forth. I was a super star on that day!!! People remember. People want to do something for me! Wow!!!

The point I am making is our perception of ourselves is often not, what other people hold of us. We are our biggest enemy, that invisible enemy from within. My birthday was a personal perception that took a long time to correct. In fact, this birthday was not the only one that people did things for me; it has been going on for at least the last 30 years of my life. It suddenly dawned on me that I had to break this negative spell and stop living in the past. Thanks to you, guys!

On this note, I like to thank everyone who always remembers my birthday over the years and without fail too. To my loving wife, loving children, close relatives and friends, former boss, grateful ex-employees, present ones and those who care to text me a birthday message, sent me e-cards from face book, plaxo, etc. and the list goes on, you all have helped me learn something of myself (break the spell rather), that’s your best present for me, forever! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

THE PEOPLE I WANT TO TOUCH

2009-12-31T16:24:00.003+08:00

So we all have successfully made entry into another new year – 2010. So let me congratulate you and greet you with a Happy & Fulfilling New Year.

I am sure you have heard this remark from many of your friends, and that includes yourself saying: ‘It is so fast, one year is gone’. Yes, this speed of events passing by us will continue to go unabated for this year and for the years to come.

I will be 58 years old, 11 days past today. Time has really gone by so fast for me. I still remember vividly the chain of events on the last day of school 42 years ago in 1969 when I finished my last paper in the MCE examination, left the hall in jubilation (for the freedom), sadness (for having to say good bye to my friends) and anxiety (as another unknown chapter of my life was about to begin).

So when I look at my completed last year to begin completing a new one, this mixed feeling like the one when I left school comes back to me. Of course, it takes a different meaning, dimension and scope. One thing for sure it is not about me alone. I have a crowd of people with me that I bring along this uncharted new year- ranging from my loving wife, my 2 boys, my partners, and a growing coach community.

I am committing to fulfilling a broad-based responsibility for this year covering a wide segment of constituents anchored on a singular mission to bring joy and to add a positive difference to their lives.

To my wife, Angeline, it is to grow in our love for each other. To my children, it is molding and shaping them to embrace values that will make them to be better people in their lives. To my partners, it is attaining career enrichment and rewards for being together in the journey to carry out the mission of our 2 companies- Corporate Coach Academy and Corporate Coach. And to the coach community, it is supporting them to grow as true blue coaches both inside and outside the classroom.

Oops! I nearly forgot another one - my latest new love, my dog Vision. With her, there’s an addition in my family where we are still learning to love and care for a 4 legged animal.

Indeed, I take it upon myself to carry out these multi-roles with enthusiasm and determination to make it happen. I will take stock of this at the year-end and share with you how I have been doing.

So what about you? In your own self-reflection, what do you need to take stock on with renewed commitment to those living human beings who mean dearly to your life?

As 2009 Winds Down...

2009-12-14T13:08:00.003+08:00

2009 has been an amazing year!

One of the best things that had happened is my entry into blogosphere, something I have always wanted but never got it up and running! It is a great avenue for me to share stories that have coaching elements and principles to benefit blog readers and coach aspirants. I hope you have been enjoying my coaching journeys through this blog.

My promise is that next year, my blog will get even better!
Another achievement that I am particularly proud of is the attainment of the ACTP (Accredited Coach Training Program) status for the coach-learning programs from Corporate Coach Academy (CCA), (www.corporate-coachacademy.com) conferred by the International Coach Federation (ICF), the world’s most respected coaching body. This is the first and only one in Malaysia, and among the few in Asia. Graduates from our ICF-ACTP programs have been trained and certified to be global coaches with high level of coaching competency and experiential exposure.

The pinnacle of my feelings of satisfaction and exuberance in spite of the challenging economic climate is the rate at which coaching is propagating in Malaysia, Asia and beyond. Organizations, business owners and even individuals are beginning to recognize the value and benefits of quality coaching from certified coaches like ours. Indeed, I predict that coaching as an intervention tool will growth in exponential leaps in the coming year. Let’s watch the trends together!

This year also saw us launching our Teleclasses for our international students. We are proud to have coach students from far-away Slovakia and Beijing, as well as from the other states of Malaysia. This new way of course delivery using the Internet and Skype for free PC-to-PC calls breaks the Pandora Box of face to face workshop with its borderless, limitless access for international students to be certified by CCA. Indeed, with increased traffic volume visiting our websites, we have had enquiries from prospective coach-students from as far as UK, US, Lebanon, Hong Kong, Japan, India, just to name a few.

It has been a truly satisfying year! There were many other first-ever, new and innovative initiatives which I will share in my future blogs. Do keep on reading my blogs and share them with your friends and family.

Here’s wishing you and your loved ones, colleagues and friends Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

The Day My Book “Dialogue with the Coach” Was Launched

2009-11-09T22:49:00.004+08:00

This post coincided with one of the greatest moments of my coaching profession and personal life achievement, for, yesterday, I launched my first book, entitled “Dialogue with the Coach” (ISBN 9789675222153), which is published by an eminent publishing company, MPH Publishing. This book is a compilation of 100 real-life coaching cases compiled over my many years as a coaching professional.

What sets this book apart from other conventional coaching books is the use of Powerful Questions to sharpen readers’ minds, and make mental shifts to see new possibilities and break out of self-limiting beliefs. And, cleverly drawn illustrations and caricatures added clarity and humor to some coaching principles and concepts!

Why do I want to write a book? After all, I have been contributing a unique Question & Answer column in a national newspaper for many years. And I am also a Platinum Author for the Business Coaching section of the EvanCarmichael.com website, besides being a prolific writer for many other e-newsletters and media both locally and internationally.

It’s simple, really. What I really want out of the authoring of a coaching book is to scale up my contributions as a practicing coach by raising my readers’ self-awareness, and helping more people not only to resolve their issues but also to make them ‘coaches’ in their own lives.

The launch of this first book is but the beginning of something that is intentionally positioned as a “coach-in-a-book” to help every coach and leader scale new heights through an expanded worldview and courage to tap on their potentials as well as others.

It is my wish and hope that you avail yourself of a copy of the book (at a very reasonable price of RM24.90) to kickstart your venture into the exciting world of coaching!

Are You Safe To Talk To?

2009-10-23T11:22:00.002+08:00

In the last post, I shared some pointers to choose a good coach. What are some ingredients that must be place for you to feel safe to talk to the coach? In other words, when is the coaching environment a conducive one where you will feel comfortable without fear of backlash or being criticized/insulted? Or when you do not feel threatened emotionally or even physically?

In my experience as a coach, this safe environment is a must, for without it, I will never get my clients to go deep into their issues including shadow issues. In reality, a safe environment that allows people to open up is not confined to a coaching relationship. All people, whether they are managers with employees, parents with children, religious leaders with community members and even the police with suspects, need to have the ability to create an environment for authenticity and truth to prevail.

So how do we do that? Here are some ways to make people feel safe to open themselves up to you.

ACCEPTANCE. Accept people as they are. They do not need to create a persona to relate to others within a community or relationship, nor hide parts of themselves to appear more successful or be more acceptable. They also do not need to fear who they are or what they say would be judged.
RESPECT. Treat them as credible and worth a ‘second look. Honor each other’s choices and words.
CONFIDENTIALITY. Unless they want to share with others, what are said in a coaching conversation should be kept in a tight lid.
CLEAR BOUNDARIES. Set and agree on clear boundaries and keep them.
HEALTHY CONFLICT. In that spirit, both of you can talk about anything that is not working or does not feel right. The goal of the conversation is to make it right.
OPENNESS. Help the client not to be reactive but open to whatever that is brought up in the conversation. Thus, he or she does not fear that you will be shocked, fearful, hurt or disgusted by what is being shared.

COACHING WORKOUTS

Consider your relationships.

Which ones are considered safe for you?
Which ones are not?
What are the differences between the two?
What might be done to make the “unsafe” relationship safe for you?
What can you do to make people feel safe when talking to you?

Ways to Choose a Good Coach

2009-09-30T20:51:00.001+08:00

If you are convinced that a coach would be the right "intervention" professional for yourself or your organization, how do you go about choosing the right one? Here are some ways you can do so.

1 Coaching Qualifications

Ask them where they get their coaching training from, and for how long. By international coaching standards, they should have logged at least 100 coaching hours before they are competent to coach others. Be careful of those who are "jack of all trade" where they are consultant, trainer, coach etc. Can they make a good coach? A tip here: ask them what is coaching and what they as a coach would do for you. Use your gut feelings to help you decide if you are satisfied with their answers.

2 Coaching Experiences

Ask them to narrate their coaching work and experiences that they do for individuals and/or organizations. Find out the kind of individuals and/or organizations they are representing. It will tell you a lot about them.

3 Coaching References

Although coaching clients may be reluctant to talk to you, you may be able to find some who are willing to share about their coach's abilities and whether they are satisfied with the services they provide. Find out the coaching techniques that they use.

4 Coaching Terms & Conditions

This is a must in order to determine the type of coaching relationship you want. All these areas need to be discussed and agreed: duration, frequency, logistics, replacements dates and coaching fees.

5 Coaching Trial Session

It is common to ask for a free trial session where you can experience coaching with a coach. Liken it to the small cup of free coffee offered to you by the promoter at the supermarket. It gives you the opportunity to see and feel whether you are "triggered" by the coaching proceedings, the rapport building, the questions asked and the new ways

you are beginning to think! And, it will reveal to you what will happen if you were to engage a coach.

6 Coaching-Personality

Since it is certain that you will meet the coach face to face, you will have first-hand experience to find out more about him/her such as self-projection, self-credibility, self-confidence, the questions they asked and the answers they provided, and most of all, whether you feel you will be in the good hands of someone you can truly trust and rely upon.

Coaching Workouts

1 What would be some reasons why you should engage a coach? What are you looking for in a good coach? How do you define "good"?

2 What are you prepared to "give up" if you were to engage a coach? What are you not prepared to give up? Why not?

3 Of the 6 areas above, which one would you be prepared to compromise? What would be some consequences of this choice?

Coaching, Distinctively Different!

2009-09-16T10:15:00.007+08:00

I want to talk about something different today, that is, what’s the difference between coaching and other helping or intervention professionals such as therapists, mentors, consultants, etc.

Let me share a testimonial. A doctor client in a coaching conversation said this to me, “It has been a long time since someone like you are spending every minute of this conversation just talking and listening about me. In my profession, I tell people what they are, what they need, and they have to listen to me.”

Very often, I can see the faces of my coaching clients lit up and look so fascinated yet so touched that everything is centered on them!

This is what happens when you put people in the center of the coaching relationship. Coaches like other helping professionals such as mentors, consultants and counselors have to learn this and faithfully follow this golden rule that their relationship with their clients must reflect their needs. It is an intentional design which offers value of meaning and usefulness to the persons receiving them.

How do we put people as the main focus in a coaching session? There are at least 3 aspects.

1) FOCUS. Both the coach and client focuses on the client. This makes the relationship different from a “friendship” type where both parties take turns to share the spotlight. In coaching, the spotlight rests brightly and firmly on the client with the coach acknowledging his/her humanness!

2) CONTENT. In coaching, the client sets the agenda, and comes out with the issues or topic they want to work on in the session. This approach differs from many other helping professions where the professionals such as organizational consultants, therapists, human resource professionals set the agenda rather than the client. They offer valuable services but they are not coaching. In coaching, the client has the opportunity to direct the conversation, although the coach manages the coaching process and structure.

3) STYLE. Both the coach and client brings their own relating styles to the conversation, ie the way they talk to each other including the pace, tone, gravity etc. Coaches are keen observers and will follow the lead of their clients and match their moods accordingly.

And at the end of it all, the client feels that they have been heard and the coach cares about them! And this is one secret ingredient that makes coaching so life-transforming and empowering for many!

Coaching Workouts

Try spending time with a child. Let the child sets the agenda for the time together. After that, think about the experience.
Think of a time when someone places all his/her attention on you. What did the person do or not do, and how do you feel?
When are the times when you wanted to push forward your agenda? What prompted you to do it? What did you learn from it? What would you do now to put the spotlight on the other person rather than on yourself?

Fighters of a Different Kind

2009-09-02T09:05:00.003+08:00

It has been 3 months since I started my blog. What an insightful and pleasant journey it has been as my thoughts and reflections reach out far and wide to my friends, fellow coaches and the cyberworld at large!

Coming back to my last post, I hope you have found it useful to reflect on things I have shared as you go through your daily life. I encourage you to share your thoughts etc with me and others who have been following my blog, by clicking on “Comment”. You can also forward the blog post to your friends who might be needing a “virtual helping hand” in their moments of discouragement or dilemma.

In this post, I want to share something about fighters. It is not a story about Mohammad Ali or Mike Tyson. They may fight for fame and money. Many of us do not have the muscles or the ambitions to be world-beaters in the boxing ring. Instead, we want to be fighters of a different kind, where the battles are everyday affairs. Let me explain a bit more.

In life, many of us have no choice but to fight especially those of us who have ever faced illness or a life-threatening situation. Similarly, a mother will fight in childbirth to delivery her baby safely, and a new jobseeker will fight to secure a job. There are other battles where we fight for love, security, acceptance and a better way of life. And of course, there are those martyrs who are prepared to die in their fight for freedom from oppression.

Nearer home, there are enough for us to fight the good fight in our everyday lives even as we strive to live by our principles of decency, integrity and leading by example.

The problem I have struggled with for a long time is reconciling the concept of “going with the flow of life” and “fighting the good fight”. At first glance, they seem to be incompatible; in reality, they are not. “Going with the flow” does not mean that we passively take in whatever life dishes out, or that life is always smooth and wonderful.
For me, that is what “fighting the good fight” is all about – making a stand and doing your best according to your conscience and what you know is right.

So, I salute you with “fight the good fight” as a clarion call to be warriors of light (to borrow a term from Paulo Coelho) with the intention to leave this world a better place than when we came into it! Come to think of it, it is a fight all on its own where, with each battle, we send out some ripples into the world!

Compromise or Sacrifice

2009-08-17T08:44:00.004+08:00

If you are asked to define “compromise” and “sacrifice”, what would you say? Are they the same or different?

Compromise is about lowering our demands and expectations on people or the things we want, while sacrifice is about giving up something in order to get something even bigger. So, which one gives you greater happiness? Let’s examine both a bit more.

The word “compromise” is an interesting concept. Somewhere along our lives, many of us would have come to believe that compromise is the only way to keep the peace and stay happy. The paradoxical reality is that compromise causes frustrations and unhappiness simply because you cannot have your cake and eat it too! Like someone has said, “If you limit your choices only to what seem possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want and all that is left is a compromise.”

The word ‘sacrifice’ is a more empowering word. To me, it is the best and only way to find peace and happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating sainthood or martyrdom in your quest to find and live a life of happiness, purpose and meaning. Really, it is about what you are willing to GIVE UP or sacrifice in order to have the life you want.”

Ask those who are successful in life and they can narrate details of sacrifices they have had to make to achieve their dreams or goals. This is because anyone who is serious about having something different in his/her life has to be 100% committed. Anything less is a compromise.

Powerful Questions:
• How often do you have to choose between “compromise” or “sacrifice” as defined above?
• What does it involve?
• What will make you decide if it is important enough to pursue it?
• What action/s will you take?
• What action/s will you not take?

To Resolve or To Resign?

2009-07-31T11:26:00.005+08:00

Recently, I went to Sudan to coach a group of engineers to become coaches. For them being highly technical people, such soft skills concepts like Coaching were totally new to them.

After the session, a small group of them came privately to confide in me that, while they are excited about using their new coaching skills, they are also worried and concerned about their current reputation and credibility in the eyes of their subordinates. From what they told me, the relationship between them and their subordinates have not been good for a long time.

Inevitably, the subject revolved around 2 options:

Option 1 - To “resign”, meaning, to give up their plans to be coach-leaders; or
Option 2 - To '”resolve”, meaning, to find a solution to their concerns.

So, the million-dollar question was : which of these two was better.

Often in our lives, we are faced with having to exercise one of these two options as a way to get out of our woes or predicament. Whatever decision we choose will impact us differently. So, when we are at the crossroads of having to choose an option, we better think hard.

In my opinion, “to resolve” means having the courage to get it over and ensuring that the issue is laid to rest. There is a finality and acceptance to the issue and we also learn to adopt a perspective to challenge it with greater clarity should it surfaces again.

On the other hand, “to resign” is another kettle of fish altogether. It implies that there is a great feeling of powerlessness around us. It is a kind of shrugging off our shoulders as we have no power or choice in the matter.

So, what’s the next move?

The first thing to do is to ask ourselves what our value is and why is it important to us. Very often, we spend an inordinate amount of time thinking, talking and reacting over stuff that are not really important in our lives. In the bigger scheme of things, does it really matter?

Take an example of your spouse or friend not appreciating what you have bought for her/him, or your boss’s “bad taste” remark that your children do not listen to you! What’s your immediate reaction? Get upset, angry, or frustrated? Start an argument even though you know you may not win? Blame the other party and wait for an apology (which may not come, or takes a long time to come)? Wait for the other person to change his/her ways?

Or you can take time out to reflect on what’s really going on and look for an opportune time to talk it out when the emotions are not so high. Now, for the important part – act on what you know now. It is no point keeping it to yourself or hope the other party can read your mind and make the first move. Always remember, it is your call!

Do you always have to do this? No. It depends on the sort of relationship you want to have and the kind of life you are willing to work for. You can either work towards resolution or resignation. The choice is yours!

Powerful Questions:
• How often do you have to choose between “resolve” or “resign” as defined above?
• What does it involve?
• What will make you decide if it is important enough to pursue the issue?
• What action will you take?
• How will you feel about it?

Knowing the "Deeper You"

2009-07-20T08:33:00.008+08:00

In this post, I would like to talk about the “deeper you”.

To start, I remember a quotation : "We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” I cannot remember who wrote it but it stayed in my mind for years.

Think about it: What does it mean to you? It seems a straightforward statement but yet can cause some confusion, second-guessing and even arguments! I came to the conclusion that the real you are not seen from the outside, but is found deeper in you.

When you ask someone, “Who are you?”, how much will you know him or her? If I were asked this question, I would say that I am a father to my children, a spouse to my wife, a corporate coach, a friend to many, a servant of God, a boss to my staff, blah, blah, blah… But do you really know who am I? I don’t think it will be very much. This is the first level of me.

Let’s go a bit deeper. How do you describe your personality? If I were asked this question, I would say “action-oriented, focused, assertive, fast-moving, lover of jazz and blues, etc.” Do you now know me? Yes, a little more than before.

Like many others, my personality has been influenced by the events that took place in the early years of my life. My dad was very disciplined and strict to us and I had learnt quite a bit of his ways. When young, many of my friends were musicians and we wanted to be different from our “next door neighbors” so we dressed differently, and played and listened to different sets of music. A large part of this stayed with me till today. This is the second level of me. So, do you know about me? Yes, a little more, but not all of me.

The third level of “me” would have much to do with my beliefs and what I want out of life. If asked, I would say this : “I always want to be positively dissatisfied so that I keep searching for improved ways of doing things, thinking out of the box, and looking for new possibilities where others only see problems.” Know a bit more about me? Certainly, yes.

Which leads me to this question: As a coach, do we need to go deeper to find out more about the person after having gone down three levels? My answer is a resounding “Yes” if there is a valid reason to do so. We need to find out the extent of misalignment between their actions and the bigger purpose of their life. Only then can we support them to reach the goals they really want. Not only my clients but many of us (including you and me) cannot explain why they do the things they do. Take me for instance, I know a lot of me and I can explain why and how I came to be the person I am today, but I still do not have sufficient explanation to know the real me fully.

For me, I like this challenge of my life. Apart from the intellectual stimulation, this journey of self-discovery has indeed helped me make peace with myself over so many issues. I can now succeed more in separating my behaviors from my “beingness”.

And, at the end of the day, if we are able to help your clients fulfill their goals and life purpose, the journey of their self-discovery would have been worth it.

Some questions to ponder…
• How well do you really know yourself?
• What do you need to do to know even more of yourself?
• How can you help someone close to know themselves more?
• What do you gain when you do this for yourself, and others?
What do you think? Would you like to share your thoughts with me?

Small Wins, Quick Success

2009-07-09T19:51:00.004+08:00

Let us suppose we have defined our goal/s for our lives, say, for the next 2-3 years, in several important areas. And for each of them, we have the “perfect” Action Plan. Then, why do we still delay and not act when we already had said that we wanted to? And why is it that we still fail when the Action Plan is meticulously laid out and all set for success?

Many coaches, managers and people in the street will have many such “paradoxes” that make us wonder what then is missing or not right about the commitment we have made or the Action Plan/s we have created.

What I do know from my years as a coach is that a commitment can mean nothing, or a plan can still remain hazy if we do not create small steps to gain quick success or small wins as fast as possible.

Is there a winning formulae that can be applied in all situations or coaching issues? For me, for example, I jog a fair bit to keep healthy and at the last 100m or so of my jogging circuit, I have 2 routes to choose: a “lazy” route which is definitely easy but does not give me the satisfaction of a good aerobic workout for my heart, or a challenging route that goes uphill. As I prefer to take the more challenging route, the answer or formulae is to break the distance to be covered based on the 3 bus stops enroute. The motivating thing is when I get to the first bus stop, it fuels my desire to reach the second one, and then the third. By then, I would be “over the hill”. Wow! What a great joy and sense of satisfaction!

So what is the learning lesson? Break it up into bite sizes. For example, you want to make a big commitment, but you delay taking action. Why? Because the commitment is too huge with results that will only be known in the near or distant future. So, the waiting time is long, and there is nothing you can shout about right now.

What is more important is our intention to get it done with small broad steps instead of a beautiful detailed plan. And while we are in that process, we should have some fun and throw caution to the wind a little.

And this is what business coaches do when they talk about the importance of focus. It is really on the intent to achieve the activity and, along the way, putting in small steps to allow for change/s. Each step will reveal the next step of the journey, even as we keep our eyes on the big picture and not on the small details which can trip us up.

So, go out there and get some quick wins and early success fast!

Some questions to ponder:
1) When in a pursuit for a goal, what exactly do you want out of it?
2) What is the big picture of your overall action plan?
3) Why is it important for you to want it?
4) What will keep you focused in getting it?
5) How can you have fun and enjoy the journey?

The Most Important Goal in Your Life

2009-06-16T13:04:00.004+08:00

In my last post, I talked about moving out of my comfort zone to venture out on my own. What would best describe my inner values? For some people it is passion, challenge, love, determination, gung-ho spirit, etc. For me it is “courage”. Why? “Courage’ compels people to go down the unconventional path, take risks, and face difficulties that timid souls will avoid.

I took this word of ‘courage’ further in my recent article. In it I said that courage is the most important attribute that anyone can ever long to have. There are many goals that all wish to pursue, especially those tangible (or materialistic) ones. Go for them by all means, but make sure one of them (and the most important one) is to know ourselves so well that it will help us build our courage.

Many of our life’s goals are temporary in nature. We want a car, house, rewarding career, even a lovely creature to live with ‘forever’. However, they will be taken away from us one day. There is no guarantee of permanence in any of them. Rather sobering, isn’t it? But it is true!

So what is something that has permanence and is 100% worth working towards? It must be a goal that is not dictated by forces beyond our control such as our bosses, the economy, nature or another person. It is this goal: “self-knowledge”. Simply put, it answers the question: “Who am I?”

Self-knowledge is about gaining deeper and deeper knowledge of ourselves or what we are made of. It means gaining so much of our awareness that we discover more and more of who and what we are, and it unfolds more and more layers of our untapped potential so that we can discover and use them to touch more lives.

On the flip side, there are people around us who have been “asleep” throughout their lives, refusing to learn and grow from life’s experiences and stubbornly declaring their innocence, ignorance or even proclaiming that there is nothing else to learn or that they are already living a perfect life and are perfect human beings!

Some questions to ponder:
What’s your experience in gaining self knowledge?
How does that help to grow your courage?
What have you used your courage for?
What are those that you still are building your courage for?
What can you tell others of your experience?

The Consequences of Choice

2009-06-04T08:15:00.007+08:00

If you have been following my Saturday articles in the New Straits Times (NST), you would have noticed that I talked a fair bit about my personal life, besides coaching and HR topics. Why do I open up my life to “public scrutiny”? It is a risk I am taking like there could be misinterpretation of meanings and intentions, loss of privacy (to some extent) including losing ‘credibility’ as well. But I decided to throw caution to the wind because I believe that to a great extent that what I have, and am going through my life represents some parts of what others like you may have gone (and will be going) through. And if I have learned from them, then others can learn from them too. Thus, the bigger purpose for what I‘m doing for the community (and society) far surpasses the little concerns that I have just mentioned.

In one of my recent articles entitled ‘ Limits On Limitations’, I shared why some seven years ago, I chose not to be an employee anymore, although I was then a top executive in a very dynamic and successful organization. Since leaving I founded 2 companies – Corporate Coach & Corporate Coach Academy as well as being involved in other businesses in tourism-related industries.

Besides giving up a lot of perks and benefits, it is more hard work now, more than my “employee days”. Being CEO (Chief “Everything” Officer), I have to do almost everything and, with the current economic situation, bear more “headaches” too. Yet, the bottom-line is that I am really happy with what I am doing now. I can express myself more; there is greater autonomy; and I am my own boss to top it all!

Not everyone would have the courage to take the path I have taken. The key word here is “choice”. Once we have made our choice, we accept the consequences of our choice. Using my example, I would be so frustrated if I had stayed on and be unable to do the things that express my inner passion and motivation.

I hope mine is a lesson to those who are still wasting their time whining about their life, employers, closed ones etc and not taking any action to change the circumstances of their life.

The most important thing that matters is to feel empowered in your choices and be able to live your life with honor, humility and passion. And, perhaps more importantly, it is to be able to embrace ALL of life and accept ALL life’s consequences that come from our choices and decisions.

If you have taken the same path as I have, what were your experiences like? What significant lessons did you learn along the way? How would you help someone who is about to embark on something similar but is having “big butterflies in the stomach”?

Like this post? You can click on the envelope symbol below this post and forward it as an email to your friends, etc.

PS. To follow my posts, please subscribe at the panel on the right. My Blog's URL is http://mikeheah.blogspot.com or www.mikeheah.blogspot.com. For emails in plain text, you can copy or type the URL in the search bar of your web browser.

Join My 'Stories That Coach' Blog Community

2009-05-26T08:31:00.004+08:00

At last! I am now able to take my coaching thoughts and experiences across to many more people, many more cultures and many more countries. For many years I have been a columnist for the Malaysian media, New Straits Times. Until this ‘blog thing’ became a new and powerful reality in communication technology, I had only been able to ‘talk down’ to mostly Malaysians, giving my one-sided views on how I would overcome their life and work challenges that they asked me to.

Although I was much fulfilled for being able to touch lives in this way, it was grossly inadequate. I wanted to do more but I could not. The circle was rigidly limited; the communication was a dry monologue that was restricted to my views alone. I was sure that they were many out there who wanted to give their many cents’ worth as well but couldn’t.

I am so elated now that this constraint has been lifted; it is now a piece of my own history. With my blog, I am now able to take Coaching to many more levels. I visualize myself as an ‘idea stirrer’ (a better word is ‘facilitator’) to stimulate a world community of like-minded helping professionals of coaches, consultants, trainers, therapists, including ordinary people who are driven by a passion to help themselves and others grow in their lives.

Join me to create a new world of living and meaning made possible through coaches and coaching. Join me ‘grow a vibrant coaching community’, that’s my life mission on this planet. It can be yours too.